Sunday, July 27, 2008

My Day At The Park

I went to Fenway on Saturday, along with one of the lcs, jr. and two of his friends. In case you missed it, and you should have, the Boston Red Sox lost to the NYY. Let's just say the score was 10-3. Suffice to say that any day in 2008 you see Mike Timlin going one-plus innings, things are a bit thin in Red Sox Nation.

I have been going to Red Sox games in Fenway since the Eisenhower Administration (go ahead and look it up on your own time). This makes me a) old b) pathetic c) a good Red Sox fan d) somebody with too much free time and e) all of the above.

One thing that I have not done since the Eisenhower Administration (he beat Adlai Stevenson twice btw) is a game versus the Yankees at Fenway. Most recently, I have avoided same, given the overblown intensity of the circumstance. Yet, there I was yesterday. Here is my humble report.

1. The fat guy who sits accross from me may or may not be dead. His seat was empty for the first two innings, so I am thinking "All Right Now!", but in the third an aging hippie and his clean cut son sat in the seats, so one does not know the fate of the fat guy. My guess is that he monetized his seats to suckers who wanted to see a Yankee game. It was odd, because in the last ten years I have not been to a game when he wasn't there.

Those of you who care about the fat guy and nothing else in my life may stop reading now.

2. I could have gone my whole life not seeing Justin Christian, who came in for Johnny Damon after the game got out of hand. But I did see him, so my life is complete.

3. My abiding sense from the game is that Red Sox fans have jumped the shark. Nobody was paying attention to the game.They were just there to be there. I am not making this up. There was a game going on on the field, but it was incidental to the beautiful people in the stands. Very disapointing and weird. Nonetheless, these fuckers knew the words to Sweet Caroline.

4. To illustrate the point, consider this:

a. Overheard conversation in the 3rd base line bathroom during the 6 th inning:

Older drunk guy: Not much of a game, huh?

Younger Drunk Guy: The Red Sox are doing pretty good, huh?

ODG: They are losing 6-2

YDG: Really?

ODG: Pay attention.

b. Some slick bastard with a body man showed up in the 7th inning and sat in his seat in an Armani suit. He spent most of time shaking hands and handing out his business card. He left at the end of the 8th.

5. As you might gather, the whole affair disgusted me.

6. I did see a black gentleman in a Curt Schilling shirt, which struck me as odd.

7. I also had an adult beverage in the new bar under the bleachers which looks out through a mesh door onto the field. This perhaps sets a new low for monetization of Fenway Park resources. Thanks, Larry.

8. The team looks like it has no balls. The Manny thing is a problem and they all look like they are waiting for someone to hand them the trophy because they are so god damned lovable and good.

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